7-Sep-08 11:00 AM  CST  

Olympic Gold and Not So Gold 

Olympic Gold and Not So Gold
by Anonymous

I never would have imagined that as these Beijing Olympics come to a close that I would be processing the impact of the event in my I-Group and my therapy session. But alas, like anywhere else in the world, my shadows, both dark and golden, were mirrored back to me.

The most profound and obvious is how the human body and spirit can be stretched to their highest potential. How with conscious intention and commitment to vision, magnificence in limitless forms can be achieved. The profound witnessing of the awesomeness of the physical body mirrored for me the awesomeness of human spirit.

In this world where our differences are often the catalyst for war, these same differences are put aside for two weeks in this one place on the planet so gold can shine. My eyes became teary as I watched the victors celebrate and the others be consoled. I watched and listened intently to the cheering of thousands of people cheered as athletes who tripped on the track, flew off a high bar, or fell off a balance beam, got up and resumed their routine. I watched as venues full of people cheered for Olympians who they knew had just performed their final competitive routine, dive or event. I watched as athletes embraced and hugged each other in joyful victory as well as painful disappointment. Why, I ask myself, can’t we live this way each and every day of our lives? Why are we so threatened by the gold in others? Why am I so threatened by the gold in myself?

My answers began to be revealed as I dug a little bit further. My own shadows came forward as I recalled my thoughts when a Chinese gymnast was performing. “Please let her falter just a little bit, not get hurt, just a mistake,” “don’t stick the landing.” Or, while watching a track and field event, hoping a Jamaican runner would be a little slow getting out of the blocks. I now laugh as I recall myself thinking “not another gold for China, hope her entry is sloppy; if the USA can’t win the gold, I hope the Canadian diver does.” I don’t have an answer, but I certainly ask myself the question, “where is all of this negative thinking coming from?” Why can’t I support each person to do his or her best and be judged by that? What is the shadow? Is winning the only option? Must I put someone else down to feel good about myself? Again more questions but yet no clear answers.

As I continue my journey inward I claim how much more scary it becomes to disclose shadows. My own ageist, sexist, racist, and heterosexist judgments come forward. Thoughts like “god, she must be a dyke, look how masculine she looks,” “sounds like he’s right from the ghetto,” “who is that white boy in track and field,” “he doesn’t sound black,” “not bad for a woman.” I found myself more attracted to “white” middle class sports. Oh, great, now I get to ad “classist” to my list of ISMs.

So yes, some of my shadows became apparent. I love that word “apparent” for indeed my internalized isms did in fact, at least in part, come from “a parent.”

I am overall grateful however because my most powerful reactions to the Olympics always have been and will likely continue to be of gold. I am awestruck by the willingness of individuals, teams and nations to drop their defenses for a moment in time so that human connection can occur. In this I find my true gold and in my judgment unmined universal gold.

If any of this Warrior brother's experience resonates with you, and you would like to keep your "ISM" shadows in front of you, the Houston MKP Multicultural Team sponsors a monthly gathering. Meetings are held at the MKP Center once a month; more detailed information will go out by e-mail and will be posted on the website in advance of the meeting. Bring your I-Group or yourself and join in.

 

Source: Anonymous

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