20-Dec-08 12:00 PM CST

Visionaries at Work

First, this is not the "definitive" history on the Houston MKP Center. but Rather, it’s an article with a thread of what sharing and contribution can do from the vision of just a few men. Story-telling is another way to describe this article! While Houston’s beginnings are addressed here, I am sure someone else can write a definite “history” of the Houston Community. My focus is a bit different, and Houston is honored here as well.

My intention in writing the article is to demonstrate how one man, Robert Adler, started a venture that not only continues to this day, but has supported thousands of men in other states and countries. Also, this is an opportunity, as you read this, to examine how you are participating with MKP, or not: what brought you here, what perhaps took you away, and where you are today with your mission, your gifts, and your dreams, as associated with your initial training.

When I read “history” I often wonder how much is history itself and how much is “revised” history. In this article I suspect I could be accused of both, given that some men I invited to give me data participated, and some didn’t. While thousands of men have completed the NWTA here in Texas, I will refer to the men who helped build our community, who stepped up, and I suspect I will miss some “heroes.” If so, let me know so we can put in corrections when the next DRUM comes out in the spring.

The beginning: This is really a story of how an idea spread from the cold north to the beaches of Hawaii and beyond!

I spent a lot of time with Robert Adler in the late 70s/early 80s. We participated in many workshops, seminars, and events over the years; then, as often can happen, we drifted apart. In the early 90s I heard Adler’s name again, and found that in 1989 he had participated in an NWTA in Haimowoods, WI, and was literally the first man from Texas to ever participate in the NWTA. While I am clear Adler never intended to become a “Visionary,” in fact his solo action resulted in that outcome and is still playing out today.”

Adler: I heard about the Warrior Weekend in Chicago in early 1989 from my soon-to-be-ex wife. She had enrolled in Woman Within (which curiously she never actually completed) and was telling me how great the New Warrior Weekend was, to which I replied, “How would you know?” Since I have always been open to improvement and have a truly special karma when it comes to listening to and dealing with women (not!), I decided to go for it. At the end of my June 1989 weekend in Haimowoods, Wisconsin, I was asked to share this work in Texas, which was when I discovered that there was no one in Texas. I told Dave Lindgren I would see how the Weekend affected me over the summer. Without any I-Groups at all and no one to talk to except Lindgren about 2-3 times, I still noticed that the Training started to “grow on me” that summer. Finally I started to get that I was feeling better about myself, stronger. However, of the eight or ten men I told about the Weekend, only Levi stepped up to the plate. In January 1990 I flew up to Haimowoods to staff Levi’s weekend. They gave me parking duty. It was about 14 degrees out, tons of snow and ice everywhere. I’m still cold!

After Levi’s weekend I left for Effingham, IL to visit my then 4-year old (only) son Louis, who had just moved with his mother to her parents’ house prior to our divorce. It was a sad time in my life. But when I arrived back in Houston a few nights later, Levi was on fire, telling me, “Adler, we have to get to work spreading this thing or it’s going to die.” By this time I was not only aware of Levi’s recruiting skills, but knew that his fire, in combination with the experience we both had, was the start of something that probably would explode. Levi was a lot more connected than I was. And the rest, as they say, is history. The very early growth happened almost entirely because of Al’s efforts. Kudos, my man!

I participated on the founding board with the early brothers during the first four years and staffed maybe 12-15 trainings. It was one of the most valuable growth periods of my life. To re-connect with people like Sonny Elliott, Al Levi, Stan Goss, Max Elden, Tim Marvin, and later on with guys such as Stan Tyler, Joe D’Amico, and many others I had previously known in Houston was a real thrill. The entire Warrior experience is such a confronting look at men of all shapes, sizes, races, creeds, and colors. And looking back now, I think of how confronted I really was, being with men who were both stronger and weaker than me (however I defined that for myself).

I’ll never forget several sessions I had with Abati, debating racial issues and listening to him go on and on and on, but he and MLK were the first people I thought of when the Big O was elected in November. I am definitely humbled and grateful for having had the Warrior experience. I still look at the list of names of the men going through when the DRUM arrives.

My son Louis did the Weekend when he was 15 or 16 and hated every minute of it–never went to an I-Group, etc.–and he trusted me, loved me for having him do it, and has never looked back. One of my favorite parts of the training is the first Friday night. When it comes to burning in the notion of integrity, I have never experienced anything finer. The more integrity I’ve been able to generate during my life, the better my life has become. Those who know me well also know that I am the quintessential “late bloomer.” The good news is that I have finally bloomed! Trust and Surrender.

Levi: Being the ultimate recruiter, I shared my positive experience with hundreds of men in person, via the telephone, and through the media. Also, I had the privilege of appearing on the Ron Stone show along with numerous radio talk shows touting men’s work, especially the weekend training. One of my many recruits was my friend Stan Goss who helped to spearheaded the ultimate growth of what is now MKP of Houston.

Goss: It started for me with a lunch with Al Levi. Al (1/90) was the second Houston man to go to Haimowoods. Adler went first and then after Al I went. Then two therapists from the Friendswood area went, but they really didn’t do anything with it at that time; Ken Wetcher was one, and the other man moved to Tennessee. Al took me to lunch to “share” his weekend experience. Right time, right place for me.

I came back from Haimowoods on fire with three goals in mind. One was to keep doing my work. This was, at the age of 52, my first introduction to inner work; I had never done any personal growth work, 12-step work, or therapy; nor had I ever heard of men’s work. The second was to get my four sons to do the work (all have since been initiated); and the third was to bring the work to Texas.

I was initiated in June 1990 and in October four more men from my world went: Chris Davis, Sandy Vilas, Steve Beach and my son Tim from Denver. Shortly after that Paul Gilford and Tom Burns went. Now we had a fiery band of brothers, joined only a little later by Tom Hopwood.

Elliott: It is interesting that one year before any of this took place, Tom Hopwood, Gene Perry, and Tom Burns had participated in a psychodrama group, and this background helped fire up their imaginations when they attended their NWTA weekend. About that time, in the parking lot of yet another group (the Men’s Talking Stick Group that also met at the “Old Barn”), Goss met Hopwood and Jon Kinsella. Hopwood enrolled in the NWTA. In 3/91 Tom Hopwood (tenth Houston man) took himself to Chicago.

It is obvious at this junction here that, most likely unwittingly and unplanned, Goss stepped up as Houston’s “Visionary,” and parts of his vision are still playing out today.

Goss: Early in 1991 we went to the founders, Lindgren, Tosi, Hering and Kauth, and asked to have a weekend in Texas in 1991. We were told that we were too young and lacked the experience and numbers to do so for another few years. Our response was to convince them to hold two “Texas” weekends in Wisconsin. They were reluctant, but accepted our “Texas grandiosity” and gave us dates in April and August of that year.

Elliott: In April 1991, 20 of us, including Edwin Broadwell, Lloyd Butler, Evan Howell, Mike Scott, Ken Kuffner, Emile Roque, and Gene Perry, went back up for the first-ever “Houston only” NWTA training, and our staff included Ron Hering, one of the NWTA co-founders. I also recall seven Houston men staffed, including Goss, Burns, and Adler.

I also recall Kuffner coming wearing a full business suit. One guy had a tennis racket, a bit of contraband showed up, and the guy with the small TV/radio for some game that weekend provided a lively discussion in accountability.

The reason that I have always claimed to be the 11th man (first after Hopwood) is that in my group, I was the first one up in the greeting, the chapel, and oh yes—I must have really wanted to be seen—I was the first one up Friday night explaining why I hadn’t bothered to bring food on the airplane (from Houston) to the site! That played really well…for about 45 minutes! Now those were the “good old days”!

Perry: I was in a therapy group with Tom Hopwood that was led by Tom Burns. I trusted both of these men and signed up for the weekend without question. Steve Beach was my May weekend mentor and I was going OK until he called me. After our talk I got the impression that the weekend was not a retreat in the park! The second clue was when we were picked up and how unfriendly the staff was; during accountability, I was amazed at the cigars and farts by the men on the wall. This had to be a joke.

I had purchased a new leather jacket to wear to the training; it was damaged during the midnight adventure and I was pissed. Paul Gilford was a great bandit and I can still remember him hanging on the log. I personally gave him a few good blows to avenge my jacket. I resisted as much as I could, and I was number 20 on the carpet after one hell of a day.

Elliott: The first Houston graduation (5/91) took place in the “old barn” and this event became the foundation of our future growth. Ron Hering came to support us and teach us how to hold graduations.

Perry: Early graduations were really special, and I can remember Chris Davis coming in a tux!

Elliott: Our next group of 20 men (second private Houston training) went back up in 8/91, including my son Duane, Robert Andrews, Steve Lanhgam, Alastair Livingstone, Tim Marvin, Don Timmerman, and Ken Rogers. Fifteen men from Houston staffed. Like Goss, I intended to have my four boys do this work (all four have been initiated). Yet another mission accomplished that has profoundly impacted the quality of our family lives.

That was our last group to ever go north, as in 2/92 the first Texas training took place at Camp Cho-Yeh.

Goss: This group of 21 men included George Davis, Randy Fertitta, and Steve Goss. Lots of us have fond memories of a pre-weekend “Chataqua” that we had at the site to introduce the site and prepare for our weekend. Lots of funny stories about that. We held our weekends at Cho-Yeh for a couple of years, then went to Camp John Knox, the only site we weren’t kicked out of, by the way. After John Knox (too far) we went to Cathedral Oaks (kicked out), then Margaret Austin. Actually, we weren’t kicked out there either; they were very Warrior friendly.

I have some opinions about why Houston grew and flourished more than any other community for many years. Here are a few: From the start we had men who were very strong recruiters to the work. Basically we had 10 men who convinced the 24 to go to the first weekend in Haimowoods. Levi, Burns, Goss, Adler and Gilford were all committed to getting men to the work. Later on, Hopwood joined us and we had a succession of men, such as Sonny Elliott, Steve Langham, Dale Christianson and the Cardones, who just had the natural aptitude to get men to the training. Communities that struggled to get started seemed to lack that passion and talent.

Secondly, we always had a healthy respect for money and prosperity. From the start we didn’t put one penny in our work outside of the money collected from weekend training fees and I Group fees. Our view was that if we filled the weekends, that would generate cash, some of which we could use to scholarship men into the weekend. I believe that, from the start, we had at least two men on every weekend on some amount of scholarship money. The network was always looking to Houston for money to pay certain expenses. On both the points above we were constantly debating with men from other centers who held a much different view of recruiting and money.

Hopwood: Initially, I-groups were held in the homes of men like Edwin Broadwell and Sandy Hass. Steve Beach’s printing shop became our headquarters. Business meetings and “hot seats” were usually held in Stan’s office or at the Houston Achievement Place.

Elliott: Often men left meetings far worse off than when they had arrived, sort of like the blind leading the blind early on! We were heavy on intention and light on skills as I recall.

Hopwood: Many individuals were investing between 20 and 40 hours a week, plus running their own business or going to their day jobs. We were beautifully mentored mostly by Chicago’s Lindgren, Whalen, Kase, Greenwald, and of course Milwaukee’s Ron Hering (a co-founder of MKP, and a behavioral scientist, influenced by Carl Rogers), and co-founder Bill Kauth, the Visionary Elder.

Our mentoring was mostly from a distance, though. From day one we had our own identity. Goss, in his healthy grandiosity, taught us all to think big. Gilford was about doing it right. Our original covenant was to never go in debt for any weekend or any event we held; if it was not going to be profitable it was not going to be held. “Not a poverty mentality.” We could, and did, give scholarships every weekend from the start.

Perry: It was great to be a part of the community. It was said before that we were a true band of brothers. I was not a part of the leadership, and Broadwell helped to keep me connected to the community and to my original I-Group.

Goss: Another story about I-Groups. For the first couple of years we were on our own. Some protocols were mailed to us, and it was up to us to figure it out! Every meeting was like amateur night at the therapist’s office without the therapist being there! Lots of wounding. Sadly we lost a few men too. Finally we paid David Lindgren and Steve Kase to come to Houston and take us through the entire I Group cycle in one weekend.

While I am on the subject of I Groups, I’ll mention that two Houston men, Ken Rogers and Alastair Livingstone, made a great contribution to the network by completely re-writing the rather poorly done I-Group protocols. These became the new and very necessary standard for those times, and some still utilize this model today.

(Note that today there are the IGLT and PIT Manuals for new men fresh out of NWTA. These, along with the “opening” up of most I-Groups to uninitiated men, have been well received.)

What we had in those early days was a passionate band of brothers who constantly communicated, did our work together and attracted other men. We had very little king killing of men who had, along with lots of sovereign energy, lots of wounds. There were stories from other communities of regular king-killing of men with strong leadership qualities. Regarding both points, we were constantly debating with men from other centers who held a much different view of recruiting and money.

Hopwood: Another prevalent characteristic was that we tended to see rules and protocols as guidelines, not dictates, which allowed for a lot of creative weekends. The training weekends were a blast, as they were all put together on the spot. Whatever archetypes or ritual forces were present seemed to guide us into the “other world. It’s not that we didn’t learn protocols; we did; and we learned them well enough to break or bend them if it meant instinctively that a teachable moment was present and appropriate. Often a man would go down into deep stuff during What’s at Risk and we would process him right then, and then just go right back into the process as if it were just part of the weekend.

From day one Houston was labeled as being rich with talent, not “hard” enough on men, and being “special boys.” We learned early to deal with these projections. There was truth in them as there is in most projections, but the most important thing was to be there fully for each man “one man at a time.” We chose not to do the hard Chicago hazing that often served no spiritual purpose.

Gary and Grant Cardone came through. To Grant we should be eternally grateful for rewriting the Mission protocol to what we know today. Gary moved to London and birthed the London community by bringing over 12 or so men to John Knox. Despite a near revolt during accountability and a major regression during What’s at Risk, the men nevertheless staying the course, and the London community was born. And soon there were community weekends at Black Heath and their first training at Sopley.

Elliott: Moving on… The class of 5/92 included Walt Stewart, and trainings were held in August as well. The 11/92 group included our current MKP Chairman; George Daranyi, as well as Bernie Rogers, Brian Stutt, David Taylor, Dick Grant, and Corky Parker. The 1/93 group included Bob Beare, Terry O’Rourke, and Robert Killeen Jr. Our 4/93 group included Evan Daily, Theo Meicler, Kevin O’Brien, and Ray St. Germain. The 5/93 group included Joel Ferguson, Don Graul, Martin Lassoff, and Don Neumann. The 9/93 group included Steve Crowder and John Gaughan. In 10/93 Jim Mitchell, a future MKP Chairman, came through, as well as John Groll. Nov .1993 brought us wildman Jon Kinsella who influenced Houston’s future; he relocated some years later to the Denver area.

Kinsella: I went through in November 1993, at the last Weekend we spent at Camp Cho-Yeh, and the first time Stan Goss brought out the “Head, Heart & Soul.” I was the first Golden Child in its history, or so I fervently believe. I had been in a “Talking Stick” meeting with Hopwood and Goss before Warriors even came to Houston. I saw Stan before he went to Haimowoods, and when he came back, t-shirt, hat and brochures in hand. I thought it was a scam!

Due to miscommunication and misplaced resentment, I lost contact for three years while the MKP Community started creating itself. I got fired up when I met them again at a graduation. “Where the hell were you?!” they said. “You locked me out and moved the damn meeting!” I said. “We never knew your last name!” they replied. I about fell down laughing at the wry fate of it.

Truth was I wasn’t ready yet. So, I became the editor of the DRUM in 1994; then Communications Chair, then Community Chair. I was on the Community Council from 1994 to 2003 continuously. I think that’s a record! As an architect, I’m proud to say they built Land of My Grandfathers over my dead body. After 12 years of “shouting at the rocks” about the central importance of community, I left for Colorado. I’m pleased to hear that Houston is looking hard at that subject these days, and thriving with soul. I wish them the best of luck with it.

That was a wild ride, and I’m glad beyond description that I’m in this new, raw community, where I’ve become Center Director. What started out of a deep love and respect for my brothers in Houston is now blooming in Colorado. Ireland is next!

Elliott: March ’94 had the largest group to date at John Knox Ranch (41 men) and included Don Burton, Wilbur Gay, Bryan Siegel, and David Trahan.

Hopwood: The training weekends were a blast as they were all put together on the spot. That was the pattern for many years as we rented various sites, and a great deal of the value was in improvising, taking risks with set ups, with many spontaneous decisions.

Goss: Ultimately we decided we needed our own site. After a false start on a property near Sealy, twenty feet below the flood plain, we were gifted with the land that became Land of My Grandfathers, and the rest is history. By the way, there is a wonderful story to be told about the building-out of that site. I did very little, but an amazing group of men led by Steve Finn, Alastair Livingstone and Stephen McNeil, to name just a few, made the site come to life.

Elliott: In April ’99 the first training was held at LOMG, with 25 men, and suddenly all was different. While many wonderful gifts came with this change, for some the joy of “men working” from nothing to create an NWTA weekend was somewhat lost forever in our community. One of the out-of-town joys for many men from our community to this day is to “make it up” on a new site, and to actually re-look at all they thought they had known about setting up for a weekend, the magic of creating from nothing a magical three-day environment.

While Houston has had more than 4000 men come through, and produced over a hundred trainings, I am now going to shift gears to continue the saga that Adler started in 1989 as it pertains to building communities. So, heading west…

In 1997 I left my “old 914” I-Group (Randy Fertitta, Al Levi, Ken Kuffner, Lamont Grogan, Theo Michler and others), and headed west to Reno/Tahoe to live. I looked for two years to find men who had participated in this work in my area, but to no avail.

About that time I met Phil Hart out of the northern California community, and found there were MKP men in the Reno area. I put together my first I-Group, which is still thriving today. Early on, I attended a few events in NCAL (I could actually drive there rather than flying back to Houston!) and saw they operated on the premise of “Open I-Groups” which came to serve us well in building the Hawaiian community.

In the meantime I resumed staffing in Houston, as I would see a man that I just knew would benefit from this experience. I never sent men, I brought men; I would always staff when I enrolled a man, and I had a personal motto that I would not staff unless I brought a man. I was willing to put myself at risk, and I found that my risking sharing the results of the NWTA kept me engaged, reminded me of what I had accomplished through this work, and even as I sat out in the west alone, I continued this work.

During the last three years of my consulting business, I would not take on a new client unless he agreed to come to Houston and take the training, as I knew that I could move him and his wants much faster if we had this common bond, especially around accountability issues. On one training I brought four men to Houston, and often one or two men at a time. Like Levi, I brought over a hundred men to NWTAs.

My only experience of our local community during those years (1997-2006) was on Houston weekends, and I never realized that while some things were working well in the community, other issues were brewing in the background, resulting in some of what we have going on today. I have now completed a four-year project as a Visionary Elder.

In Dec 04 at LOMG, with my son Duane and his friend Alex from Hawaii to support me, I declared as a Visionary Elder that I would be responsible for taking the NWTA to the Big Island. This first Hawaii training took place Oct. ’08. Twenty-nine men started and twenty-nine men completed, .a wonderful conclusion to a long challenging project, and I could not ever have started it, never mind completing it, had I not enjoyed the support of our local community, and for that we are all blessed.

Today: Now I am turning my energies back to supporting the Houston Elder Community, and I am inviting those of you over 50 to join us. We suffered huge losses when Ritual Elder Ken Kuffner passed over, and when our Ritual Elder Father Don Neumann moved forward with his Church, no longer having time to devote to our Elder community, and when inspiring leaders like Bob Beare moved on.

Several of our Visionary Elders, men such as Bruce Anderson, Ken Rogers, Mel Taylor, Don Burton, Don Graul, Lamont Grogan, and Joe LaFico, are among those Elders who have stepped up in going outside of MKP and offering community service, such as cleaning up cemeteries, mentoring, feeding the homeless, and collecting clothes.

Here, I am reaching out to all of those who are not currently participating with our local community; and to our Elders. I am inviting you to step up. You are invited to attend our quarterly Elder meetings, beginning on Dec. 6th at the lodge. What’s at risk if you attend this meeting? What’s at risk if you do not?

While the Center seems to have an array of challenges, perhaps it is time for our community and especially for our Elder Community to all become Visionary Elders, to model, to lead, to mentor, and to bless. If not us, who? If not now, when?

While there are many men unfortunately not mentioned in his article, each man made a difference as he came through, as he would go out and share his experience and bring men.

Finally, thanks to all the men who gave me input, who took time to recollect their past and to provide us a bit more understanding of our history. To those men I left out, I express my regrets in not better representing you, and I invite your feedback, as this history is still unfolding and being corrected.

Blessings,
Sonny Elliott
Talking Hawk the Seer
4/91, Haimowoods, WI