26-Nov-07 1:00 PM CST

Diversity/Multiculturalism: Confessions and Observations from an MKP

Diversity/Multiculturalism: Confessions and Observations from an MKP
Multicultural Coordinator
by Lenny “Free Golden Lion” Hoffman, MKP Multicultural Coordinator, Houston Community

On a recent trip to South Africa, I became more aware that my enthusiasm for diversity work
probably comes from my own shadows around various prejudices that surfaced on this very
difficult trip. With early airport arrivals, security check points, delays in flights, airline changes,
17-hour flights, immigration checkpoints and finally being bused to a hotel, I found myself
exhausted and irritable. I became intolerant of the performance of airport personnel and was sure that airport workers were not doing their jobs and were lazy. I stereotyped working-class airport personnel. I also noted how slow elders were in getting on and off the plane. I was
inconvenienced, and it was easy to place blame on various target groups.

Of course the elders on our trip were doing a great job unintentionally mirroring to me what I fear in becoming an elder. Because of the delay in the emptying of our plane, another travel group from the Far East pushed ahead of our group, causing an hour delay going through immigration together. I began stereotyping pushy aggressive travelers from the Far East.

After years of family therapy and great experiences in Warrior I-Groups, I have enjoyed the
ability to step back and laugh at my very human behavior. I have saved a very good marriage
from disaster by recognizing that the irritating ways that I notice in my wife are really nothing
more than a mirror of my own behavior as a nit-picking exacting perfectionist who has a hard
time getting out of my own head. This behavior fits well in my profession as a physician and it
was one of the main reasons that I left a busy and successful full-time practice that I owned and
operated.

Why am I introducing myself in this way? I do not consider myself to be a bad person. I admit
that I have human frailties but rather than blame myself for being intolerant, I learned that I was
practicing behaviors that allowed the surfacing of predetermined prejudices that were making me an unhappy middle-aged man.

Through my multicultural work training in Warriors, I began to recognize my isms: ageism,
sexism, racism, xenophobia, classism, perfectionism, elitism, and many others. I also began
recognizing the same behaviors in friends both in Warriors and elsewhere.

I have become aware that the prevailing undercurrent of isms in my life accounted for much of
my dysfunctional behavior. By becoming aware of these strong influences on my thinking and
behavior, I began working on these and have come a long way towards living a happier and more tolerant life.

I credit the Warriors for many of these changes in me and I appreciate the Houston community,
particularly the leadership, for recognizing the importance of our work together in becoming
more aware of the sensitivities of others around the issues of diversity. I have become more
courageous when I get negative feedback around my presentations on multicultural issues but
many times I feel lonely and just need a good hug and acceptance from my brothers.

By presenting myself as a multicultural coordinator, I judge that there is an impression that I am
an elitist, better than others, and that I have all the answers to our diversity problems. This is far
from the truth, but I will not stop emphasizing my belief that this work is essential in getting to
know oneself.

This is difficult work but with many rewards during the learning and practicing of
multiculturalism. Please join me. You will not be sorry.

The Houston MKP community sponsors workshops which are designed to acquaint the attendee with sensitive issues around diversity. The impact of these perceptions is highlighted in these workshops in an interactive dialogue. In the discussions, I recognize that my intent was not to offend someone, and the imprint that I left on the target group interferes with my desire to connect with that individual or group. Without intent or malice, I am not left with guilt or shame but with a better understanding of the sensitivity of all people. These dialogues work for me and I judge that they will benefit our community.

An MKP-sponsored workshop titled I&I or Isms and Issues was presented on December 1, 2007, at our lodge. Similar programs will be introduced which are designed to enhance our knowledge, promote understanding and foster self-awareness and growth. Please join us for these future programs. I would appreciate hearing from you and adding your name to our email list. I can be reached at 713/899-9731 (cell) or 713 665-5122 (home) or by e-mail at
lenny.s.hoffman@sbcglobal.net.

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Source: Lenny “Free Golden Lion” Hoffman
http://www.mkphouston.org