The Mankind Project of Houston

From the Board Chair

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:45:00 GMT

From the Board Chair
by Dave “King Snake” Steitz

Drumming…faint….distant at first. Then louder, more frequent. Different tones….different pitches. Short bursts…longer phrases…extended solos. Urgent, insistent…inviting....questioning. Men in conversation. Planning... committing…taking action…celebrating. The forest is alive with the voices of passionate and committed men.

For the past few months, my cell phone has been buzzing with e-mails from and about the Men of The Mankind Project –Houston…Men in Mission. The electronic forest is alive and buzzing. Now, at all hours of the day and night, men are in conversation, and more importantly, in action; serving, creating and celebrating our community. The recent Mission & Service Team event at The Beacon is a tangible example. See the article about the event further down on this page.

In February, our new Board of 32 Brothers began to focus on the issues and initiatives that will continue the growth and prosperity of our community set in motion by last year’s Board, under the able leadership of Mel Taylor.

The 2008 Board has been structured and defined to reflect the broad range our Community needs, from the practical of Finance and Facilities to the expansive vision of Mission and Multi-Culturalism. Using our shared Weekend Adventure experience as a model, we have formed Teams, listed elsewhere in this issue, to accomplish objectives and achieve results to the benefit of the whole. To our knowledge, this level of clarity and accountability has never been attempted before. The time is now.

And as with our Weekend Adventure, it takes every man, not just leaders and coordinators, to complete the circle. We invite men to step up in each area to participate in the building of MKP-Houston. Listen to where your passion lies and commit to being part of this adventure. Call or email a team leader and ask how you can help.

Your drum is welcome to the symphony of the forest. Add your voice and your passion today.

In Service,
Dave “King Snake” Steitz
January 2001

28-Mar-08 11:45 AM

From the Editor

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:45:00 GMT

From the Editor
by Mike “Lionman” Leone

There aren’t that many current movies that I really get curious about. Still, occasionally I’ll hear about one or another film that will grab my attention, sometimes in spite of myself. Such was the case with the recent film Beowulf. Letting go of my original resistance to see it at all, I finally gave in, and not without first deciding to get ready for it by first reading the eighth-century poem that the film is based on and which is relatively short.

There were certainly details of the story line of the film that were different than the poem, the treatment of Grendel’s mother, for example, and the fact that Beowulf allowed himself to tell a lie, something no self-respecting mediaeval hero would have ever been caught dead doing, at a crucial point in the story. The writers of the film have given some justification for these plot changes and they do make sense. Not that this matters; every generation has taken the great legends and made them their own. So I disagree with those purists who have decried the plot changes.

What amazed me is how much the film was true to the spirit of the original, down to the fleeting references to a religion that was still fairly new at the time, even if the references are somewhat more sophisticated in the film. I read one essay on the poem that indicated that its principal theme is that of the importance of achieving fame or glory, that achieving renown among one’s fellows is the only way that one’s name will live on after death. Even this theme is alluded to briefly in the film.

There are no coincidences, and it’s probably not a coincidence that the earliest surviving literature—a lot of it was lost or destroyed—of most western nations that has come down to us consists of the epic poems, which were finally written after being conveyed orally for centuries, and that these poems celebrate the exploits of a hero such as Beowulf, be it El Cid for the Spaniards, Roland for the French, or Siegfried for the Germans. Every generation needs its heroes; or in the modern parlance “idols.” In fact, this issue of the DRUM reprints an article from 2002 that shows, through the character of one Gavin Knox Lodge III, how important it is to us that we have heroes.

I think what has changed since those days of the epic heroes is that the heroes of today don’t usually seek fame for themselves. They just become heroes in the eyes of others through their deeds, as was the case with Gavin. Certainly the men of the ManKind project who have been participating in our missions of service are heroes in their own right although I doubt any of them would consider themselves as such.

This issue of the DRUM shares the story of the our first mission of service, at The Beacon. It also gives details of upcoming service projects and other ways that you can get involved in this new direction in which we are going.

This issue of the DRUM also features an article by Dave Steitz, the new Board Chair, discussing the new teams that have been set up and these teams and their goals are also set forth. There is also another article in our new “Elder Voice” series.

I’m still looking for your stories of your personal adventures and growth or whatever else you wish to share with the New Warrior community through the DRUM. You can send them to me at lionman499@yahoo.com or else just leave them for me at the lodge.

I hope you enjoy this issue of the Drum, and I look forward to talking with you again next issue. And nurture that hero who is inside of you!

28-Mar-08 11:45 AM

The Elder Voice

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:30:00 GMT

The Elder Voice
by Luis Bautista and Lamont Grogan

“An Elder’s work is to synthesize wisdom from long life experience and formulate this into a legacy for future generations.” Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi

“What is our legacy?” is the question asked in the new 2008 Elder Action Plan which was presented to the elder body in a March 1st meeting. One of the suggestions put forth is to have elders visit existing I-Groups as guest magicians to personally inform the groups of the elders’ role in the MKP Houston community. Messages being explored are: what is the difference between being old and being an elder?; the elder body is not an exclusive circle and is open to men of all ages in the community; the elders are looking to increase the ranks of the elder community, participate in volunteer programs such as Ken Rogers’ “Men in Mission,” and welcome men to elderhood by offering training that prepares a man for genuine elderhood. Elders who have stepped up for the visiting magician program are Don Burton, Jim Rosborough, Bernie Rogers, Sonny Elliot, Lamont Grogan and Luis Bautista. We are looking for more elders to join us. If you are interested contact Luis Bautista.

Elder Thoughts: Some of the men in our Houston elder community are taking a look at what is missing in their lives and in the life of our community, and they are considering how elders can continue and extend the work that so profoundly affected us all on the weekend. Some elders believe that what is missing is spirituality. Our personal lives and our communal experience could be more spiritual and less profane. Being closer to death, as elders are, moves men to consider what is really important in their time remaining on this earth. When elders imagine themselves on their death bed, and speculate at what their regrets will be, what will they speculate? Will they regret not working more, not making more money, not driving nicer cars or not living in bigger homes? Regrets will probably center on the quality of relationships. The feelings of love not spoken, the time not taken with children, wives, family and friends, and the lost opportunities to live a more authentic life, will probably be the sources of regrets.

Elders are in the question of what is missing and the answer for many is spirituality. How can a deeper connection to “spirit” improve our lives, our values, and our communal life? What can elders do to prepare themselves to assume the traditional elder role in their community? How can elders prepare themselves to be worthy of being elders in the traditional way?

The Houston elder community recently constituted a group called the Spiritual Elders. Five men stood for positions representing the four directions and the axis mundi. These men were selected by the elder community at large, and have undertaken training from Luis Bautista in prayer, blessings, and meditative practices. They have incorporated spiritual practices into their daily lives. It is believed that this training will move men to reconsider what is important to a life well lived and influence men to place more value on sharing and community.

In the future elders will conduct workshops and contribute in other ways to elevate awareness of the importance of spirit in our daily lives. Spirituality in this context transcends religion, as we generally experience it. In this context spirit is thought to be the life force in each man that is connected to every other man and the universe at large. It honors the idea that all people are connected, that everything is connected and sacred. Men are born into this world to discover their gifts and deliver those gifts to the world. Native American beliefs and ritual are helpful to us in exploring “spirit,” especially the continuous expression of gratitude, humility, and service characterized by traditional native life. Through this effort elders seek to enrich their own lives and the life of our community. For many elders this is a time of questioning, learning and a call to invite more fulfillments into their lives and the life of our warrior community. Stay tuned for further developments.

Future Plans: The elders have begun holding quarterly meetings at the lodge; for the remainder of 2008, the meetings will take place on June 7, September 6, and December 6. These meeting will further the business of elders such as the fall retreat. Additionally the meetings will feature programs of singing prayer and a fulfilling shares experience. Meetings will be open to all initiated men of any age. Please mark your calendar and plan to attend.

28-Mar-08 11:30 AM

New Training Committee Formed at MKPH

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:30:00 GMT

New Training Committee Formed at MKPH
by Keith “Healing Bear” Liles
MKPH Training Coordinator

New at MKP Houston for 2008 is the emergence of the Training Committee, and attached to that group of volunteers is the hope for a powerful year of both required and special interest trainings for the Houston Community.

Historically, Houston has planned many educational trainings, such as Basic Staff Development Training, Leader Training I and Leader Training II, and others, with the best of intentions. Sadly, many have had to be canceled due to lack of registrants. At the close of 2007, John Gaughan suggested that MKPH select a Training Coordinator who would step in to oversee a community-wide training initiative that would best ensure the necessary efforts toward scheduling, marketing and enrollment, so that the trainings materialize.

I decided to take on this challenge and feel amazingly fortunate to have a committee of Board members and other men in the community who have agreed to come together in 2008 to design and implement a training program that will meet both the certification requirements of the leaders in training, as well as expose Warriors and other Houstonians to special interest speakers on topics related to our work.

Special accolades and thanks to this year’s Training Committee: Steve Crowder, Russell Miller, Tommy LaFon, Tom Flaherty, Alex McDougald and Josh Tannery.

The first training success for the year was the recent Basic Staff Training Development workshop that was held the weekend of March 7-9. Twelve men attended the training which was facilitated by MKP Leaders Gene Perry and John Gaughan, and coordinated by Josh Tannery.

Stay tuned for more exciting training announcements. If you would like to be involved on the Training Committee or share with the team a speaker you would like us to feature, please contact me at klbaylor80@aol.com.

28-Mar-08 11:30 AM

Upcoming Service Opportunities

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:30:00 GMT

Upcoming Service Opportunities

Sat April 5: College Part Cemetery Cleanup 7:30 am to 4:00 PM.

We need 25 men to help clean up a historic black cemetery in partnership with young probationers. With thanks to Lamont Grogan. To learn about this exciting project, click here: http://www.thinkingpartners.com/MKP/MemorialPark.htm

Sat April 26: Homeless Outreach 10:00 am to 2 pm

SEARCH serves more than 10,000 homeless people annually, providing them with the tools to work and achieve self sufficiency. With thanks to Lamont Grogan. We need 25 men for meaningful work projects on this Saturday. Click http://www.thinkingpartners.com/MKP/Search.htm for more information.

Sat May 24: Homeless Meal Service 9:30 am to 2:30 pm

The Beacon Christ Church. With thanks to Tom Oldham

To volunteer up for any of these projects email Bruce@thinkingpartners.com, or if you have questions on this announcement call Bruce at 713/882-5285.

For questions on Men in Mission call Ken Rogers at 713/501-4773.

28-Mar-08 11:30 AM

Teams and Team Goals for 2008

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:30:00 GMT

Teams and Team Goals for 2008

The 2008 Board has taken an unprecedented step by setting up teams to accomplish particular goals to benefit our community. Following is a list of the current members of each team and the goals for that team. Please take a look at the teams, find one that speaks to you, and come help us accomplish these goals. The time is now; the place is here.

Communications: Team: Adam Nisenson (chair), Wade Quinn- (legal), Bruce Anderson, Mike Leone (DRUM), Tuong Ngo, John Sturtevant (writer and website), Lenny Hoffman. Goals: establish guidelines for brand identity and communications consistency; establish media communications policies.

Development: Team: Scott Cole (chair), Tom Oldham, Tony Randazzo, Tom Flaherty, Elliot Rose (Gala), Steve Boon. Goal: generate $300K outside of the MKP Community.

Enrollment: Team: Eduardo Somoza (chair), Jan Christiansen, Myke Smith, Greg Gondron, Tom Halloran, Frank Elizondo, John Gaughan. Goal: initiate 280 men by December 31, 2008.

Facilities: Team: Joe LaFico (chair), Steve Boon, Ken Newberry, Bryan Siegel, Kevin O'Neal, Alex McDougald, Danny McDougald. Goals: complete LOMG repairs and updates; generate $20K of facilities rental income; reduce annual facilities spending by $5,000.

Finance: Team: Jerry England (chair), Jack Pointer, Lamont Grogan, Joe LaFico, Tony Randazzo, Steve Boon, Eduardo Somoza, Mari Guas, Frank Elizondo. Goals: refinance the MKP-Houston Center; conduct an internal audit; generate $300K funds (dues, internal fundraising, host events, and alternative sources of revenue); create a functional accounts receivable system.

Integration: Team: Thomas Flaherty (chair), Russell Miller, Chris Cefalu, Tommy LaFon, Keith Liles, Alex McDougald, Mari Guas. Goals: update I-Group curriculum; establish a retention goal; create a guest magician directory; evaluate facilitators and their competencies; develop protocol for open I-groups or transitioning an existing I-group; establish up to 10 open I-groups; develop a database of the I-groups, meeting times and locations.

Mission and Service: Team: Ken Rogers (chair), Ernest Patterson, Alistair Livingstone, Bruce Anderson, Eduardo Somoza, Lamont Grogan, Joel Ferguson, Elliot Rose, Bryan Siegel, Ken Newberry, Thomas Flaherty, Tom Halloran, Wade Quinn, Joe LaFico. Goal: hold six events involving 100 men.

Multi-Culturalism: Team: Lenny Hoffman (chair), Vaughan Counts, Patrick Vachon, Russell Miller, Tommy LaFon, John Gaughan, Prentiss Jones. Goal: Put on six multi-cultural functions (including at least one “Isms & Issues” (I&I) training).

Training: Team: Keith Liles (chair), Thomas Flaherty, Russell Miller, Tommy LaFon, Alex McDougald, Chris Cefalu. Goals: establish a database of people who needs specific training; hold at least four specific trainings (BSDT, LT-1, LT-2 and LT-3).

28-Mar-08 11:30 AM

Clothing Drive

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:15:00 GMT

Clothing Drive

One of the charitable agencies that Men in Mission is scheduling for volunteer service is SEARCH, located downtown. They provide a wide range of badly needed services, some of which are beyond our capacities, but many of which we can provide.

An immediate need is the need for used clothing, specifically men’s, though women’s would be welcome.

This is an appeal to you men to bring your retired clothing. They are looking specifically for trousers, jeans, shirts of all kinds, jackets, sweaters, and even shoes.

Be sure that what you bring is clean and serviceable. The drop-off point is the Seeker Room of the Lodge. A Men in Mission team will deliver the clothing when it is accumulated.

Box:

Donation of Retired Clothing
In Particular: Shirts, Pants, Jackets, Sweaters, Shoes
Where: The Lodge, Seeker Room
When: Now

MEN IN MISSION

28-Mar-08 11:15 AM

Modern Hero

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:00:00 GMT

Modern Hero
by Joel Reed

[Editor’s Note: The following article originally appeared in the March/April 2002 issue of the online DRUM.]

On Sunday, October 8, 2001, I attended a Lectio Divina service and heard a passage that was read that day in many other congregations that follow the Christian tradition. This passage came from the prophet Habakkuk in the ancient Hebrew scriptures:

“O LORD, how long shall I cry for help, and thou wilt not hear? Or cry to thee ‘Violence!’ and thou wilt not save? Why dost thou make me see wrongs and look upon trouble? Destruction and violence are before me; strife and contention arise. . . .

“And the LORD answered me, ‘Write the vision; make it plain upon tablets, so he may run who reads it. For still the vision awaits its time; it hastens to the end—it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come, it will not delay. Behold, he whose soul is not upright in him shall fail, but the righteous shall live by his faith.’”

The previous day, Saturday, October 7, 2001, I had sat with my brother New Warrior Elders in council near Wimberley, Texas, for our quarterly meeting. During our check-in, hearing much expression of emotion summoned up by the recent terrorist attacks, I thought back to my relationship with Gavin Knox Lodge, III, the first initiated New Warrior I had ever met. Gavin, a truly just man, worked for me in Denver in the mid-1980s, some years prior to my New Warrior initiation in November 1993.

Gavin Lodge worked in my office as an investigator, facilitator, mediator and litigator. He was big and profane and, despite having taken a law degree from Vanderbilt University after his Vietnam yes, described himself as a “dumb jarhead” Marine. Gave was a man who could curse with the vitality and music of the Marine he still was. And he also shared that music by singing in the choir of the little Methodist church where we were later to hold his funeral service. At that service, the entire choir turned out to sing his requested favorites; and, at his wife’s request, I read his eulogy.

This was a man who had no fear of death. “Hell, Reed, I already died, at least twice!,” once when he had been blown off a ‘track’ and severely burned in the field in Viet Nam, and once on the table in surgery, at Brooke Army Hospital in San Antonio. It was there he met his wife-to-be, Marsha, a nurse at the burn center. Because of his injuries, he remained a walking scene of desolation. Where he wasn’t scarred from the burns, he was scarred from the skin graft donor sites. He constantly had to shave the ears and the nose they built him because the tissue came from somewhere on his backside where he grew hair. The fingers that were burned down to the bone were fused into grotesque claws, with which he could type more than 120 words a minute, at the same time continually breaking keyboards. He put drops into his eyes continually and wore an eye patch to sleep, because what remained of his eyelids wouldn’t quite close.

When he was diagnosed with cancer, they did the surgery at FitzSimmons Army Hosiptal. Despite having been given three months to live, Gave toughed it out for almost two more years. “Damn it, Reed! Who knew dying could be so hard or take so long!?”

Driven by his desire for truth and justice, Gavin continued to come to work as the recurring, inoperable tumor grew inside his skull. He eventually lost his ability to walk, and had to resort to a walker and later to a wheelchair, until our bosses required him not to report for duty.

He lived from his faith. Before his death at age 34, we used to sit and talk of things spiritual. Gave said he never experienced any epiphany, no voices nor visions of things to come. Rather, his spirituality was simple. He loved his wife, Marsha, and his boy, Gavin IV. He loved his friends. He loved his life and lived it to the full. He loved me, enough to cuss me out or kick my butt, when that was the kindest, most loving thing he could do. He loved peace. One of my fondest recollections of Gave is of him speaking of his hatred for war.

In fact, he hated anything that even reminded him of war. I remember one time, in earlier days, when he went elk hunting with us. He was the first one out of the sliding door of that old VW bus and into the brush, in pursuit of several mule deer that crossed the road in front of us. But he never went again. He said it was too much like jumping from a helicopter after little guys in black pajama uniforms.

Despite his contempt for war, he volunteered for the Viet Nam conflict and led his “ROKs” (Marines from the Republic of Korea) out of a sense of duty, honor, country,” and family tradition. He lived a hero, and he kept the faith. He lived out his faith, and he lived in love. My last image of the greatness of this giant’s love was seeing his ravaged body on a gurney at FitzSmmons with ice-filled latex surgical gloves on his eyes, in order to preserve the corneas for donation.

“The Just shall live by Faith. Not out of Justice, but from his faithfulness, holding to his faith.” The prayer that arises in my heart with these musings is to have in my own life the love, the hope, and the faithfulness to my mission, my spiritual path, that I witnessed in Gavin Knox Lodge, III. And to be able, as I watched Gave do so long, to wait.

The prophet is enjoined to write down his vision. Now I have expressed onto this paper the vision which came to me in a circle of men, a circle engaged in centering prayer on the day American warplanes began bombing Taliban strongholds in Afghanistan. And while justice and accountability are important, and while my tax moneys go to contain terrorism and deprive terrorists of the means to destroy more innocent lives, I must keep faith with my best self and with those who trust us not to become what we abhor. I must, like Gavin Knox Lodge, III, be motivated by love and by a caring which is willing to wait. Semper Fi, Gave.

28-Mar-08 11:00 AM

Song of the New Warrior

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:00:00 GMT

Song of the New Warrior
By Mark “Accepted Deer” Joslin

I have walked this field before.
It is the field where my father walked,
and his before him.
But today this field seems fuller than ever, alive with the motion
and vibration of life.
The grasshopper’s play and the spider’s dance are illumined
by the eastern sun.
And today I step differently, embracing the chaos, unwary and
unfearful of serpents lurking beneath
my feet. The southern fire guides me onward.
My walking brings me to the old,
stagnant pond.
Lingering there I notice the decay and
film of years of neglect and abuse.
The vision is painful,
hard to accept.
But the surface shows my
reflection to me, broken by ripples
From movement below, reminding me that life is alive,
and living is living,
Even in the murk of the forgotten.
The circling hawks above me float
on the north-blown air,
Giving testimony that life does, indeed,
come from death.

And so I turn.
Westward – sun glinting off determined,
passionate tear in my eye.
With solid pace, I return to the journey,
my feet firmly trusting the wisdom of Mother Earth.
And as I move through shadows
of forests unknown, I hear
The song of the new warrior.

28-Mar-08 11:00 AM

Dance of Life

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:00:00 GMT

Dance of Life
By Kim Sawyer

Dance wildly your freedom.
Fingers and toes tingle your passion
With reckless abandon.
Play!

Soar on wings of your envisionment.
Ascend on swollen thermals of oneness
With All, whose spirit ignites
And fuels that searing spark
Of Soul
That, in each and All, serves to conduct
the mad, swirling, wondrous
Dance of Life.

Drink deep draughts of your joy –
Rolling invincible waves on the Soul-sea surface.
Lifted on massive heart-beat swells –
from far below.

Stop, look, feel, be – All.
Then toss back your head
And laugh!
Frolicking freely in the field
Of All possibilities.

28-Mar-08 11:00 AM

Blink!!

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:00:00 GMT

Blink!!
by Kim Sawyer

Faerie-like feathers of
soothing winter sunlight,
invite and caress achingly
pretzel-knotted, wounded
heart-well of fear.
Cavernous –
“I will not melt!”

“It’s damn cold out there!”
quips the twisted organ-in-pain
to the dancing, knowing sunbeams
of promising warmth.
They besiege his ancient, towering
ramshackle fortress of forlornitude
with sparkling giggles and sighs.
“Come play with us!”

Seemingly perpetual platitudes
of hope and life-renewal.
Grievingly fended-off by
cynical knot-nets of resignation
and tired tawdry terror.
Eons of his-story stacked up
in dark denial of the lion’s share of Life.
Multitudes of meaningless wasted moments
based on nothing more than a mere misdirected thought,
a mistaken image, an illusion.
“BLINK!!”

28-Mar-08 11:00 AM

The Beacon

Thu, 28 Feb 2008 17:00:00 GMT

The Beacon

On Saturday February, 16th, 2008, 16 Houston New Warriors gathered to be in service for a local church that served meals, provided clothing, and washed laundry for the homeless.

This was our initiation, a project of service that was the first of many that are scheduled at various community outreach centers. The day began with our gathering at an office close to downtown. The meeting opened with elder blessing and then moved on to check-ins. We had three men that were not warriors in our group. They fell in to speaking from the heart almost immediately.

Joel Ferguson led the theme of the check-ins which was to look at the shadow we each bring to the mornings event. Sharing of the feelings ran the gamut of joy at having the opportunity to serve, to tears of remembrance of having exposure to homelessness. As a process, Joel split us in pairs. We had to look at our partner as a homeless person and give judgments. It gave me a very fast realization of how fortunate and how self-centered I and my immediate world are. We arrived at The Beacon, which is an Episcopalian community center opposite the church in downtown.

After carpooling downtown, the Men in Mission team met with the volunteer coordinator for assignments. Some men were assigned to the kitchen to work on the serving lines and to wash dishes, pots, and pans. Others went to the clothing store. Some went in the laundry and some served as guides and assistants. Whatever the task, it put us in close interaction with men and women who had fundamental needs.

There were many lessons that all 16 of us learned in that initial experience. The main one being the gift that the experience was to all of us and how profound and universal is the need.

That was the first experience of Men in Mission community service, and it proved to me that the efforts we are putting in give strength to our individual commitment to our missions and our desires to be of service……… Alastair Livingstone & Ken Rogers

28-Feb-08 11:00 AM

Community Gathering Looks at Possible New Direction for New Warrior Community

Wed, 16 Jan 2008 03:00:00 GMT

Community Gathering Looks at Possible New Direction for New Warrior Community
by Mike “Lionman” Leone, DRUM Editor

On Saturday, January 5, the first community gathering of 2008 was held at the New Warrior lodge. Led by Board of Directors Chair Mel Taylor, the first part of the meeting emphasized the many positive strides made by our community in 2007, including our new-found financial stability. In stark contrast to our situation at this time last year, we find ourselves in much better shape financially, and have even been able to make a couple of payments on the principal indebtedness for our lodge. Our current stability is largely thanks to several things: the new dues structure; the gifts we have received from individual members of the community; the staff and initiate fees from the 2007 NWTAs; and our fundraising events, in particular our recent gala that netted $20,000, to be split with Women Within.

A large part of the rest of the meeting was framed by some rather sad news: the imminent cancellation of the January 2008 NWTA. Our community celebrated its 100th training back in December of 2004, with roughly a dozen trainings each year since then; yet, this is the first time in the history of MKP Houston that it has been necessary to cancel a weekend because of low enrollment. Weekend leader Gene Perry referred to this sad step as a “community decision,” speaking of how hard the January 2008 staff has worked to bring men onto this weekend.

However, this situation also served as a springboard and catalyst toward discussing some new and exciting directions in which our community is heading. We began with a question that will be familiar, in slightly different form, to any man who has ever staffed a weekend: “Who is responsible for attracting men to our community?” The answer, of course is, “I am.”

While the discussion initially began with the word “enrollment,” most of what followed delved into areas where this word did not really fit. We started looking more at the concept of “attracting” men to our community and discussed two principal methods of achieving this goal.

The first method that we discussed was the idea of Open I-Groups. Open I-Groups include both initiated men, and men who have not yet done the NWTA. While there has been a fair amount of resistance in Houston to the idea of open I-Groups, other communities have been quicker to try these sorts of groups with definite success. One particular success story mentioned by Tom Flaherty, Integration Committee Chair, was that of the Northern California community, where open I-Groups are the rule rather than the exception; as a result, there is a waiting list for each of the six weekends that that community holds each year.

There was some inconclusive discussion about how we might persuade the I-Groups in the Houston community to be more willing to open themselves up, with the admission that doing so involves a certain degree of vulnerability and openness on the part of these groups. One thing that Mel emphasized was the need for better communication between the lodge and our I-Groups, especially those groups who do not meet at the lodge and of whose existence we may not even be aware.

We segued into the second part of the discussion by means of talking about another men’s group rarely discussed within our circles and yet with whom we have some definite things in common: the Masons. The Masons have been around and thriving for centuries; Mozart, for example, who died in 1791, was a Mason, as have been a number of our former presidents. Yet, paradoxically, a Mason is forbidden to specifically invite another man to join the organization. Men join the Masons because they are attracted to what the organization does and what it represents.

With this in mind, Mel turned the meeting over to Ken Rogers, who raised the very important question, how does the outside community see us? Ken, who discussed this issue briefly in the Fall 2007 DRUM, said that there is a growing need for communication between us and the community at large. He expressed the desire that we return to who we once were, “Men in Mission.” The very last thing we tell all men on the weekend is to “go in mission” and “go in service,” and we honor men in our community who live their lives in mission and service through the Ron Hering Award. Yet we do not provide opportunities for men in our community to do that. Not until now, anyway.

Ken suggested that we start creating missions through agencies who have needs for what we have to offer. He emphasized that by serving, we can transform ourselves. He said that we need our non-Warrior brothers just as much as they need us, and that we will come to know ourselves in a new way through our connection with them. Bruce Anderson added that keeping our energy to ourselves is not working, and Jim Rosborough brought up the concept of redefining our I-Groups as “mission teams.” On a more practical level, Tom Flaherty spoke about giving out projects to our initial I-Groups on the last night of their first cycle.

A project Ken Rogers spoke of that is coming up very soon is that a dozen or so New Warriors will be serving a meal at the Beacon, a facility for homeless men that is sponsored by Christ Church Cathedral downtown. This will be the first of, it is expected, many such projects. See the interview/profile of Ken Rogers of this issue for more information.

Mel then asked that all men at the community gathering who were interested in being involved in this new undertaking step forward, and the response was almost unanimous. So the meeting ended on a very optimistic note.

There will be more information in upcoming issues of the DRUM about these missions of service. So stay tuned, and contact the men heading up this project—see their names in the Ken Rogers interview—if you are interested.
Aho!

15-Jan-08 9:00 PM

The Elder Voice - Grateful for Everything

Wed, 16 Jan 2008 03:00:00 GMT

The Elder Voice

Grateful for Everything
by Luis Bautista and Lamont Grogan

There seems to be consensus in the minds of most people that gratitude facilitates a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment with life. Expressions of gratitude affirm abundance and the wonder of being alive and the presence of so many resources life provides us.

How can a Warrior grow in his feeling of gratitude? What practice might deepen a core belief that is rooted in abundance, good fortune, and complete sufficiency in all aspects of our life? It’s easy to be grateful upon winning the lottery or experiencing the joy of a fulfilling relationship. Can we be grateful for the “less obvious”? Can we be grateful for sadness, fear and the dissonance of shadow? Can we think deeply about the purpose of these dark energies in our life and discover an extraordinary gift in situations that give rise to these uncomfortable feelings? If we can be grateful for the unpleasant aspects of life, surely we will increase in an awareness of just how fortunate we are to be alive and appreciate deeply all the experiences life brings us.

A prayer expressing gratitude for the “less obvious” aspects of life is set forth below. If we can find a gift in the aspects of life that vex us, if we can find gratitude where we never even thought to look for it, then we may live happier lives and make greater contributions to our families and community.

A Man’s Prayer of Gratitude for His Shadows

Grandfather, I am calling you to come into my heart. Hear my prayer.

Grandfather, help me in my struggle to be grateful for my shadows and the teachings they bring me. Move me to feel more deeply about the meaning of my shadows in the journey of life. What is the purpose of these dark energies which guide and control me when I feel weak? Why are they so large in my heart, Grandfather? My shadows feel hard to heal and are resistant to the light of my living spirit. Grandfather, I am asking for your help.

Grandfather, thank you for my pain and suffering; bless my pain and make it a friend to me. Lead me to the scared ground of healing. Thank you for the aliveness of my suffering. Make stronger my curiosity and determination to seek a deeper understanding for the pain I feel. Grandfather, I know in my heart that my pain is a teacher and a guide. It points the way to my serenity and peace, like a lake at dawn.

I have everything I need to complete my mission. Thank you for all your kindness. Thank you for the day I deliver my gifts to the world.

My shadows, my pain, my sadness all lead me to the day when I will be calm and joyful. I am grateful for the day when I can speak the language of the world and enter into the soul of the world. Grandfather, thank you for the day of my death, when I become a luminous spirit and join the Ancient Ones.

I am fearful, Grandfather. Thank you for this awful fear.
AHO

15-Jan-08 9:00 PM

I Was a Soldier Once

Wed, 16 Jan 2008 03:00:00 GMT

I Was a Soldier Once
by Marion Wehmeyer, Vets’ Journey Home Weekend, September 2007

“I love the Lord because he hears and answers my prayers.” Psalm 116:1.

I was a soldier once
Proud and true,
Who served my country
Like so many do.

I faced danger on the battlefield,
Risked life and limb,
Suffered mentally too!

My cause was for justice to prevail,
Even though I was brought
To the gates of hell.

I was a soldier once,
Right out of school;
Young and proud,
Who had a duty to do.

When the battle was fought,
It was I who won;
I carried the fight to
The evil one.

Then I came home after many days,
Expecting my fellow countryman
To give me praise.

I fought for them, you know,
The people back home,
So that they could be free
Wherever they roam.

I was a soldier once,
But to my surprise,
I heard cries of hatred
Proclaiming my cause
Was all lies.

Now I find that those friends of mine
Taunt and belittle me;
That’s not very kind.

I was a soldier once,
Battered and abused,
By those folks I protected;
But I have good news!

I was a soldier once,
Now old and gray,
Who became closer to God
In every way.

Those who fought,
Those who refused,
Must be forgiven;
That’s the good news!

We travel through time
Thinking we know it all,
Trying to decide
Who shall win or fall.

But that has been decided
For me and you,
Before we were born;
Before we even knew.

Hatred for soldiers who
Give their all,
Is not the way
To answer the call.

I was a soldier once,
Who served my way,
To insure justice and freedom
Has its day.

To all those dissenters
Who throw unrighteous clay,
Remember the real winners
Are those who can pray!

15-Jan-08 9:00 PM

Blue Ridge Fall

Wed, 16 Jan 2008 03:00:00 GMT

Blue Ridge Fall
By Wayland Matthew Fox, Asheville, NC

The world, my world, seen through eyes half open, opening
Toward closing, weeping, falling apart on October’s mountain—
Seeking renewal of the long sleep—like always.

As maple and poplar, elm and oak bleeding together downward
Upon elderberry, goldenrod and bittersweet, painting the earth
With blue red griefs, memories orange and yellow gold, forgetting
Who they are, finally brown and black, sleeping.
This, their most glorious offering.

Eros too seems to die—the boy-man-god knowing the reason behind seasons
Leaves us for a time, maybe leaves time behind.
He will grow a beard and travel incognito, or
Become a bear in winter’s cave, or perhaps an old sage full of stories and wine
Warming himself in some tavern—keeping Desire alive.

And what of me? I wait here—still erect—but uncertain, wavering in middle years,
Longing for the winding road to call again, listening for the voice of wonder—
A child who also waits beside the throne, evergreen.

15-Jan-08 9:00 PM

Open The Box

Wed, 16 Jan 2008 03:00:00 GMT

Open The Box
Dedicated to All Fathers by John Meador

So one hot August morning, a Saturday yard work day, I was up at 7 am. Knowing it was going to be an all-day affair in the yard, I was ready to go. Also this was the day my son Chris (now “Courageous Coyote”) was going to help me. He went out the night before, promising to help me do yard work on Saturday for the money he needed to go out with on Friday.

The skeptic in side of me (the JUDGE) knew he would try to get out of helping. He had done this in the past, by pissing me off and by my finally saying “Fine, I’ll just finish it myself.” Well, that wasn’t going to happen this time. I was going to make damned sure he would work his ass off for the money I had given him.

So 7 am goes by and then 8 am. Each half hour I am reminding him that he promised to help, and that I am working as we speak. This goes on until about 2:30 pm. By this time, I am very pissed off and I go looking for him. He’s not in his room where he had been all morning. I’m looking and yelling his name. Nothing. I go outside and there he is standing near the pile of dirt he and his friends had made when they were digging for China. (OK they really were digging for China, seriously; it was funny and cute.) So there he is. I’m yelling, “What the hell is going on,” and saying “You promised,” and “You will never get money again unless you work for it first,” and on and on. I’m on a roll.

So he is not saying anything; he looks at me and then looks at something in his hands. I notice he is not arguing with me and walk up to investigate. He has a box. He opens the box and shows me his dead lizard, a pet that his science teacher had given him to take care of and eventually keep for his own.

I am in shock and shame, angry at myself, so I beat myself up. This was a great time to share in his grief.

So on a Saturday morning at a staff meeting on an NTWA weekend I shared this story, and men said, “John, is it time to claim your fatherhood?” I changed my animal name from “Free Lion” to “Father Lion.” So what I learned for me is sometimes before I go off or JUDGE others I should just Open The Box.

I am always enough...

15-Jan-08 9:00 PM

Keynote by Doug von Koss - Part 2

Wed, 16 Jan 2008 03:00:00 GMT

Keynote by Doug von Koss
World Elder Gathering IV in Houston, Texas Oct. 26, 2007

[Editor’s Note: In the Fall 2007 issue of the DRUM, we presented the first part of Doug’s keynote from the World Elder Gathering IV held at LOMG. Doug devoted a large part of the keynote to the concept of The Good Enough Elder, who he is, what he does and what we can look for in him. So with this issue we conclude Doug’s talk.]

I have been truly blessed to have a lot of great elders in my life. I’ve watched them closely over the years and saw many of them to a greater or lesser degree as role models.

Years ago I found myself on the same teaching bench with the poet Robert Bly, the brilliant Jungian therapist James Hillman, Malidoma Somé, John Stokes from The Tracking Project, and the Aikido Master Terry Dobson. I thought to myself something like, “Oh, jeez. I’m in deep shit here. How am I supposed to match these guys?”

I felt they were on the 10th floor and I was still in the parking lot. My throat gets dry just thinking about then.

So at one point Robert Bly turned to me and said, “Get us singing!” Just like that. Well, I did. And it went well. Then I saw a chance for a poem and pitched it in. And it went well. But afterward, Robert said to me, “The poem was fine, Doug, but it didn’t sound like you. Find your own voice. You have to be you!” And through the years his voice, in that moment, has never stopped helping me.

Robert Bly has been a role model I’ve watched grow and change over the last 25 years. When we first met he was a hard-edged real tough teacher who often publicly engaged others in anger and conflict. What was fire is now water. At 80 he has matured and softened into a very generous Good Enough Elder. I could say he finally received the blessing he desperately needed from a Huge community of men…and he now actively passes on that blessing to thousands of younger men and women.

Which takes me to a most precious quality of The Good Enough Elder…the one who blesses. I feel it starts simply as recognizing an “urge to bless,” then nourishing the urge and acting upon it. This urge to bless can rise out of compassion toward another…a desire to see someone flourish and grow…even a thought like “I wish that person knew how much they are appreciated.” Blessing is a practice over time that flourishes in The Good Enough Elder.

To bless means to wish unconditional and total unrestricted good for others…from the deepest wellspring of your heart.

A blessing can be as simple as,

“I see you, oh, yes, I see you.
I bless you and wish you well.
I take you into my heart.”

My good friend Bob Roberts from Project Return in New Orleans has this to say about blessing the young:

“I believe another job of elders is to “see” the young men – see and help every young man to know that he is a precious gift. He has a precious song that only he can sing to the world. In remembering his song, he will remember his soul, …who he really is…and that will be the only true guide he will ever have or ever need.”

Rabindranath Tagore said,

“For years I’ve been stringing and unstringing my instrument
while the song I have come to sing remains unsung.”

I went through 25 years of alcoholism before I even heard a whisper of my song. I don’t think I met or perhaps recognized another Good Enough Elder until I was 45. That was 30 years ago. I am in gratitude every day to the grace that brought Dan Cottrell into my life…and his guidance into a life of unimaginable richness.

I can not think of a nobler task than to help our children find their true nature and name their gift.

So as I near the end of the search…this takes me to The Good Enough Elder “in full sail.”

I think “full sail” is a key image. Rather than shrinking and diminishing, it’s a time of entering into fullness, taking risks, letting our beauty shine, putting ourselves out there with a willingness to be wrong. Investing our energy in places that support life. A willingness to die having used ourselves up. As the Sufis say, “We have three days left to live and two are gone.”

As you know, age alone does not an elder make. I’m influenced here by the Buddhist view that the seeds of eldering qualities are in everybody. The seeds need nourishment to help them sprout and attention to help them stay activated.

With this view to be a Good Enough Elder is not just something we pick up later in life, but it’s rather something we prepare for and grow into for decades. Youth is a gift of nature but age is a work of art. So we could say rituals of becoming an elder are recognition of the previous work of daily growth into elderhood.

And I feel The Good Enough Elder is never finished growing.

Get ready, men, for the longest run-on sentence in history…

My friend Charley Bloom says, “We all know lots of geezers who are not and probably never will be elders because they lack the essential ingredients which include: wisdom, compassion, a sparkle in the eye, a striking sense of humor, an ability to respectfully speak the raw truth in a way that it can be heard even when it is painful to hear, an ability to listen without judgment or condemnation, a sense of being free from the social conventions that stifle our capacity to connect deeply to ourselves and others, a concern for others that goes beyond our immediate family and embraces the well-being of the rest of the world, an unquenchable thirst for learning that deepens rather than diminishes with age, a relationship with death that is based upon respect and openness, rather than fear and denial, an ability to come up with the questions that challenge and inspire, rather than with answers that affirm one’s control and authority, freedom from the tyranny of the ego, a healthy portion of coyote, and perhaps paradoxically, a quality of youthfulness and vitality of spirit regardless of the shape or age of the body.”

As I close, I would like to express my gratitude to the conveners of this gathering for their invitation and to all of you for receiving me in such a gracious and attentive manner. I asked and received the help of many friends to help me order my thoughts this evening and I’m very grateful to them. I am aware of the presence of the other elders we invoked into the room when we first began. You may release them if you wish or keep them with you always in your heart.

Tonight, in searching for The Good Enough Elder out there and inside here, it is very clear to me that I am standing in a room jam-packed with men who are way, way beyond Good Enough Elders.

The elder in feeding his own soul nourishes all life. By your very presence in the world you raise the awareness of what’s possible in a well-lived life. A well-lived life doesn’t have to be some grand act of social service, of making a profound impact in the political realm. As you practice so well in the Mankind Project, it is as simple and profound as saving the world one life at a time. I bless your work and may it continue to shine around the world until the last mountain is a grain of sand.

I’ll close with a quote from James Broughton at 80…

Stand firmly, sit serenely,
Mutter profoundly,
Sing outrageously and
Dance all the way to your death.

Thank you.

15-Jan-08 9:00 PM

From the Editor

Wed, 16 Jan 2008 03:00:00 GMT

From the Editor
by Mike “Lionman” Leone

Greetings to all, and I hope you had a great holiday.

A few years ago I shared with my I-Group that I had managed to do most of the things with my life that I wanted to do, which was not bad for someone only in his early 50s. I still had three things left on my list and one of them was to do more traveling. I have indeed gotten to do a fair amount of travel during my lifetime, and just about all of it has been related to what others have wanted or expected of me. Nonetheless, some of it has been really great, such as the four-and-a-half months I spent in Ft. Lauderdale for my job back in 2005, an experience I wouldn’t trade for anything. Still, I knew it was time I started doing some traveling for me.

I’ve started out slowly with a couple of trips to my beloved New York City during 2007 with more trips planned for this year. My first trip was to keep a promise to reward myself if and when I passed the bar exam (another I-Group suggestion) and it also gave me the chance to relive and do differently my unsuccessful experience of trying to live there back in 1980. I have only been to New York once in the years between 1890 and 2007, a great loss I now realize. Last winter I visited the streets on which I once lived, particularly West 71st in Manhattan, which was a more emotional experience for me than I expected, especially since I visited it immediately after seeing the simple but beautiful John Lennon memorial in Central Park, not far from the Dakota on West 72nd. By taking that long-dreaded walk back down West 71st, I was finally able to see that entire experience back then no longer as a failure in my life, but rather as, inexperienced and fearful as I was, still having the courage to fulfill what had always been one of my big dreams.

While the thought of traveling and being away from home for extended periods of time still frightens me to an extent, repeatedly going someplace that I know fairly well and love so much at least is helping me to prepare to visit some of the other places on my list. And in the meantime, there is more than enough for me to do in NYC to keep me busy for a lifetime.

As you will see from reading this issue of the DRUM, our Houston New Warrior community has some exciting things planned for the year 2008. At the top of the list is the intention to become more involved in missions of service. I hope that many of you will take advantage of some of the great mission/service opportunities that will be coming our way in the coming months. If you will check out the interview with Ken Rogers, you will see which men are spearheading this effort and with whom you can get in touch so that you too can get involved and the benefits we anticipate you will get by doing so.

Also, we are finally just about back on schedule with the DRUM, so, starting with the Spring 2008 issue, each of the four quarterly issues should be out about the time that the season changes, so that the spring issue comes out around March 21, the summer issue around June 21, and so forth. With that in mind, please check the back page of the DRUM for the deadlines for submission of articles, notices and ads. Essentially, the deadline will be the 15th of the month before the season changes, so that the deadline for the spring issue is February 15 and so forth.

However, we can’t have a DRUM without articles, so please send me your articles about community events as well as articles about your journey as a man or expressing your creativity. We can of course have a DRUM without advertising, and it will make it easier for us to begin and keep expanding (this being Texas, bigger is better) with the financial support of the community. You can contact me at lionman499@yahoo.com or at 281/452-3040 (home) or 281/787-1617 (pager).

Please take this opportunity to become more involved in your New Warrior community. There are exciting things coming up and I hope you will avail yourself of some of them. Enjoy the rest of your winter and I look forward to talking to you next issue.

15-Jan-08 9:00 PM